Wednesday, 7 September 2016

All of the Spring, All of the Colour & a Hot Physio


One little word that makes me want to prance through meadows and shove my nose into every blossom I see.

I've been a super busy Amazona over the past month or so. Busy and not busy. The last half of winter saw me get whacked with a few health issues which meant periods of not busy-ness, then extreme busy-ness as I spent all my time trying to clean and play catch up with life from when I was incapacitated.

I've also been out enjoying the lovely Spring weather with bike rides and walks around the local lake and the Esplanade at the beach.

What? How did that get there? I swear I was walking for exercise and taking pretty pictures. I absolutely was not ever Poke Hunting....

I've even been enjoying some Spring colour in my garden...

And how's this for colour? Bear went away to the V8 Supercars in Sydney for a week. He missed me in his gorgeous, Beary way so upon his return he bought me these dyed Chrysanthemums from a REAL FLORIST (instead of a supermarket which he normally does but I don't mind because I love getting flowers no matter where they come from. It's sweet someone just made the effort, yeah?!).
I used to be a florist many moons ago and kind of am a bit snobby about dyed flowers but these are mesmerizing!
#nofilter !!!

I popped them in a vase with some double daffodils I bought a few days earlier....

Do you know how people says things happen in threes?

First I sprained my ankle. It was so silly. I put on a pair of those rocker sneakers so I could go for a walk, then walked out of the kitchen and turned my ankle. So dumb. And I didn't fall gracefully. I'm only 5 foot highish, but fell over like a baby giraffe with legs going in strange places. Then I'm on the floor saying, "OW OW F*&#*&*#ING OW!" while Sonofagun No.1 tries to help me up and over to the couch.

So that limited my ability to do stuff for a little while. Peeps who follow me on Facie may remember this photo.... So glam with the nail polish (although don't tell anyone but I only applied nail polish to that one foot for the photo. Then a day later decided I felt lopsided and did the other foot.)

Then after I was back at work for only one week, I caught the mother of all colds. It was horrendous! I thought after a day up at the snow I had sore muscles from snow play, but no my friends! It was just the beginning. Then came the aches, the shivers and high temperature. The hacking cough, the sore tummy muscles from the hacking cough. And then the weirdest thing. Day 3 of The Mothertrucking Cold From Hell I developed a bad headache and BURNING EYES!!! Can you believe it? My eyes were streaming and red and burning as if I squeezed lemon juice in them. Then finally after a week I was ok and it was back to work as well as trying to get the house back in order.

Then 5 short weeks after I sprained my ankle, I sprained it again. The same one. Yes. I am that uncoordinated with my appendages.

So I decided it was time to visit the physio.

I haven't been to a physio for over 20 years.  

So before my physio appointment, I went for a nice easy walk along the local beach. Nothing strenuous but it involved buying coffee, saying hello to random dogs being walked and losing track of time. I had just enough aforementioned time to race home, have a quick shower, squirt some moisturizer on my leg (just the one the Physio would be looking at) and race out the door.

My Physio was an extremely good looking young man called Ty. Ty asked me to take my shoes off.

It was at this stage I realized in my hurry to get out the door I hadn't made the crucial 'pretty foot' check.
My feet were clean but desperately needed a go over with a buffer, and my nail polish was last applied 5 weeks previously when I took the photo above of my 1st sprained ankle..

So now it was chipped and showed 5 weeks of toe nail growth. Gross.

Then after going through a few exercises, he said he was going to massage my ankle and would I please sit up on the love bed, er Physio bench, and roll up my leggings.

Soooo several blog posts ago I wrote a few sentences about how as a Red Haired Amazona, our leg hairs are like almost invisible, fairy gossamer threads of nothingness.

Not today. In the presence of the very good looking Ty the Physio they stuck out like wild, vicious cactus thorns.
He massaged my ankle while I sat up on the love bed, er Physio bench.
Then asked me to roll over and lie on my tummy while he worked on my calf muscle which was torn last year. I was wearing a short little sports skirt and leggings so I was sure this was modest enough to cover my rather wide ass.
He started working on my leg. I think my calf muscle had an orgasm from his kneading. He asked if he was being too rough.
I know that I thought "Oh yeah, you gorgeous man-child. Go hard." But hopefully I just said, "No, that's very good thank you."

Physio session finished, I booked in another for the following week and went home where I had to change so I could go out to lunch.

When I took off my leggings to switch to jeans I realized, that in my haste to leave earlier, I pulled on my crappy leggings meant for the bin. They had a rather large hole in the crotch. I desperately hoped that while Ty was massaging my leg from down that end of the table, he didn't glance up to see my rather large ass up the skirt with a hole in my leggings flashing my large flowery granny undies.

This is a moderately accurate depiction of Ty the Physio...

This week I made sure that legs were shaved, toe nails were cutely polished, legs and feet buffed and moisturized and there were no crotch holes in clothing. But if Bear notices later, we won't tell him it was for another man!

In Crochet Land I have been busy!

I purchased a wonderfully written Kamila Cardigan Pattern from Ling Ryan of Hooked On Patterns . The original shown in the pattern is a lovely grey, but I've gone a bit crazy with bright cotton stripes. Some of the Cottons are Patons 8Ply, and some are from a selection of Ultra Prima Cottons I purchased from Little Woolies stall at the Sheep & Yarn Show a few months ago.
I know stripes have a fattening effect but I really, really wanted a bright stripey cardigan! 

This pattern is so well written and easy to read. I have tried attempts at 2 other cardigans over the past 12 months. They were disasters! Confusing, they didn't turn out right. I'm not having any of those problems with Lings pattern. Thanks Ling!

I'm also finishing this bright lime green blanket for the Bears Cub. My Bear has cubs of his own. The youngest asked if I would make him a blanket in his favourite colours Lime Green & Yellow. I've thrown in a little bit of soft grey to tone it down a bit.

It is 12 squares of large green granny squares, then a row of grey in double crochet, followed by a row of single crochet in yellow. Then it will be all sewn together in a 3 x 4 grid. Possibly then edged in a few rows of moss stitch? Not sure yet.

Now I'm off for another walk down to the beach before I pick up the Sonofaguns from school!
The Red Haired Amazona


  1. Oh Louise! Really. But of course hilarious as usual.

  2. I've just found your blog and have had a real belly laugh at this post, one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. Thank you for making my day.

  3. As always Louise- highly entertaining!!! Are you sure you don't need more physio?!!

  4. Well.. I won't tell your husband.. does he read your blog? :-) ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

    1. Ha! He has read it now and told me he understands as he often think he should shave his chest hair off before he goes to the acupuncturist or chiro!

  5. ;->
    soo... I hope you didn't tell him the bit about you being a "Hooker"..?

    Anyhoo, it's probably all a moot point anyway, as, since he's THAT "strapping", with your luck [and ours!], chances are that he's likely a "HAPPY"-PERSON..?!!

    BTW, what you described as a "cold", was actually probably a mild case of FLU!! Especially if there was no sore throat..? - Did you get a flu-shot this year? If not, GET one the next time they're available. Even if they aren't geared for a specific virus, it's still better to have one than not!They'll still lessen the severity of any more such ailments.

    oh. And BEAR is a definite "KEEPER"!!


    1. Haha! My Bear definitely is a keeper! And I've often threatened to buy him that tshirt that says, "I never knew Id grow up to have a hot crocheting girlfriend! Im living the dream!" They actually make them!