Showing posts with label tattoo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tattoo. Show all posts

Thursday, 26 March 2015

Zombeavers, Ringtail Possum & Budgerigars, Oh My!

It's been a busy and interesting week so far.

Every Saturday night BFF the Blonde Bombshell comes over for dinner and a movie.
If we aren't accompanied by PWP (people with penises aka our Significant Others) we watch gorgeous old classic musicals and comedies such as Singing in the Rain, Oklahoma, Calamity Jane or anything with the completely adorable Shirley Temple. Or the other old beauties such as An Affair to Remember or Rebel Without a Cause (OMG that was a great movie!).

The Blonde Bombshell and I grab a couch each after dinner and the kids have been put into bed, pull out our crochet, drink the wine, chomp on whatever new type of chocolate indulgence we have and drift into movie heaven.

TBB has also started up a new movie review blog (after being absent from movie blogness for a few years).  And I set her a challenge. A movie review challenge!

She was not happy with my choice. She bemoaned the lost 90 minutes of her life. She typed furiously on her laptop the whole time in between scoffing Chocolate Pods. She exclaimed several times throughout the movie, "Oh dear God! Are you kidding me?"

And what was the movie? I hear you ask!


Yes. Zombeavers. It's a long way from Xanadu.

Yes.  There are not only Zombeavers. There are also Zombeaver People, Zombeaver Bears, Zombeaver Dogs and Zombeaver Bees, some unnecessary boobs and a creepy old hunter.

For Miss Emma's review pop over here. But just in case you were thinking of watching it and don't want to know the ending, it's FULL of spoilers from start to finish! Hilarious reading though.

My favourite part was the song at the end credits. Think Tony Bennett style lounge music. But as a song about Zombeavers.

Later that night after the PWP went off to bed, the Blonde Bombshell and I went outside to sit by the fire with warming mugs of Irish Breakfast Tea, toast marshmallows and discuss the weeks events as we do. And we were joined some local wildlife....

Isnt he cute?  He's a little Ringtail Possum who sometimes visits but we rarely get the chance to see him.  He was later joined by another Ringtail, but he didn't want to share the pears.

I've also had fun trying to get my newly 6 year old Sonofagun No.2 to understand the concept of time.

Sonofagun No. 2: can I have ice cream?

Red Haired Amazona in mother mode: After you've finished your shower.

Sonofagun No. 2: Awww!   but how long will that take?

RHAIMM: 5 Minutes

Sonofagun No.2: how many minutes is 5 minutes?


Sonofagun No.2: No. I mean how many MINUTES??

RHAIMM: five minutes

Sonofagun No.2: No, you're not listening to me. HOW MANY MINUTES? ???

RHAIMM: 300 seconds.

Sonofagun No.2 WAILS: But that will take SO LONG!

Sadly my crochet has been put aside for a few days while I recover from some self inflicted arm business. ..

This was courtesy of the incredibly talented Miss Billie Fiction of Artisan Tattoo in Altona. It's waaay bigger than I planned. But I do like birds. I have a few little nicknacky type birds around. Ok, enough that's it's almost bordering on obsession.

But I kind of try to curate my collection so the house doesn't feel like that Hitchcock movie.

I do have one real live feathered companion. Axel is a gender confused budgerigar.  In this photo his cere (the bit above his beak) looks brown but actually it's the same light pink colour as baby budgies. The only thing is Axel is 5 years old.  

If anyone can shed light on why this is so, I'd love to hear it. We had kind of referred to Axel as He.  He/ she could be asexual and that's ok too. But from the way he/she sometimes expresses his/her budgie lurve for the other budgie in his/her mirror... well let's leave it at that. Sorry guys. Didn't mean to drag your minds down into the budgie gutter.

Axel does budgie face. I do duck face. Axel didn't understand why I couldn't do budgie face.

I'm currently at home today with a sick Sonofagun No.1 but after a bit of cleaning I'll probably be on Pinterest trying to get inspiration for my next project. I do have a knitted scarf that needs finishing but yarn stuff will have to wait a day or so until my arm feels less bruised.  

I'd love to say a huge hello and thank you to all the lovely visitors to my blog over the last month.  Over 40,000 of you from 109 countries have popped by to visit just since the end of February! 


40,213 up to this very minute to be precise!

I've had lots of lovely comments and wonderful photos sent to me.  I've met some amazing Blog Land people who have been inspiring and helpful particularly with a certain piece of crochet whom shall not be named but we know who you are hat thingo.

Alot of you have had issues with the brim of that hat. I totes understand. The first hat or two I did turned out beautifully and only needed to be smoothed out by hand, then sat nicely.  Then I was getting feedback from some people who've mentioned it comes out all wobbly.

The lovely and super talented Vicki from Off the Hook and I have been emailing each other about this across the continents and hopefully soon one of us or both of us will iron out the issues.  
The pattern I posted is as close to what I believe the original pattern can be.  I don't speak or read Russian.
The way I figured out the pattern relied heavily on the photographs but also when I wasn't sure what was happening (particularly with the brim) I studied the translated words and how they also looked in their original Russian form and compared with how they were used elsewhere.  That's kind of how I taught myself the Runes from The Hobbit when I was 13 years old!
We will let you know how we go hopefully soon!


The Red Haired Amazona

Saturday, 24 January 2015

The World's Uncoolest Mother

I have a teenage son. If you've read a few of my posts, you'll know I refer to him as Sonofagun No.1.

I've tried through the years to instill in him all the important things every parent should teach their child.

Such as Star Wars.
Good music taste. As in My music taste.  The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, The Rolling Stones, Pearl Jam, The Foo Fighters, most classic 70s rock, maybe a bit of classical music etc. 
Japanese based cartoons like Pokemon.  Actually I tried to get both the Sonofaguns into old school Astroboy, but they prefer the newer stuff. And that's okay too. 
Doctor Who. Harry Potter. And LOADS of other stuff. You know, all the cool stuff. Because I like cool stuff. 

Now I don't have tickets on myself but I think I'm kind of cool. Don't we all? Us parentals never really age in our hearts and minds. At the birth of our children, we do not stop being who we are. We may mature a little. Some of us anyway. But I'm still fairly similar to the person I was in my 20s. I'm not perfect. I'm not always logical or rational. But I'm fairly easy going. I'm a happy, social person. I still like alot of the same things I liked when I was younger, like Lego and Star Wars, and Fleetwood Mac.  I think I'm cool in my own space.  

Apparently I'm wrong. Wrong on all levels. 

It turns out now I'm the most uncool person on the planet. I know this now for a fact because my 14 year old said so.

School starts in a week, so the Sonofaguns and I ventured forth the other day to buy school uniforms.
We made the pilgrimage to the local School Uniform shop.

I handed my list of required clothing to the young fella behind the counter, the kids tried on their clothes and I prepared to hand over HUNDREDS of dollars for these necessities. 

We have visited that particular shop many times over the last few years. The shop staff have all been there for years and are a young, helpful and friendly crew.  As I passed over my hard earned cash, the shop assistant noticed the tattoo on my forearm.

I have a tattoo. It's kind of Crochet Geek Cool.  It's a granny square. I designed it myself and found a clever local tattoo artist who was able to embed it in my skin with needles.  

Coz that's how I roll people.

The original Granny square...

And the final result when it was newly inked....

So he says, "Wow, is that real?"
Amazona: Yeah, it's real!
Shop boy: Wow man, that's way cool! 
Amazona: Thx babe, it's only 4 months old.
Shop boy: Hey you should check out Jay's tatts. Hey Jay! Come over here and check out this cool tatt!
Jay comes over: Whoa is that real?
Amazona: Sure is! Show us yours!
Jay shows off a pair of American style sailor boy and girl skulls on each forearm still scabbing: I just got them the other day!
Amazona: Man that's cool! 
Jay then shows the Amazona some more on his legs and Amazona is suitably complimentary and the usual tattoo conversation takes place: Where'd you get them done, are you getting any more etc

I hadn't noticed that Sonofagun No. 1 had walked to wait outside until the tattoo show-off fest was complete.

I finished the tattoo show- off fest, grabbed my purchases and walked out to where the Sonofaguns were waiting.
Amazona: Hey why'd you walk out?
Sonofagun No.1: Coz you guys were so embarrassing!
Amazona: What are you talking about?
Sonofagun: Talking about your tatts and stuff. Like you were all a bunch of little kids showing off your favourite toys! Man it was soooo embarrassing! I had to walk out. 
Amazona: What?!?
Sonofagun: I mean it's just not cool!

I let that go, but later at the dinner table I brought it up in conversation...

Amazona to BFF: So apparently I embarrassed {Sonofagun No. 1} today!
BFF: What happened?
Amazona relayed the story.
BFF: What's so uncool about that!?!
Amazona: I know, right?

Sonofagun No. 1 speaks up and the lecture from HE WHO KNOWS ALL ABOUT COOLNESS begins (All delivered in a vaguely bored but authoritative tone)

"I mean, you were all just like, showing off your tatts and acting like a bunch of little kids and you think you're cool but you don't know the first thing about cool. I mean you don't listen to new music, just that old rock n roll stuff which is like so OLD and you didn't even know who Macklemore was for Christ's sake!  You might have thought you were cool when you were young but that actually WASN"T cool. Or maybe you were but now you THINK you're cool but actually you're not. So stop trying! Because when people YOUR AGE try and act cool, it's just embarrassing. I mean that AC/DC old man rock music you listen to, I mean they're just a bunch of hacks!"

Amazona and BFF throw back their heads and laugh. 

Ahhh sweet youth. Now most parents would do the parental thing and snap back about being disrepectful and 'Don't you take that tone with me young man!'  but I'm an imperfect parent and found that whole thing extremely funny.

Amazona: I don't listen to AC/DC ALL the time! Hardly ever! 
Sonofagun No. 1: Pearl Jam, whatever.
Amazona: I will not have you speaking about Pearl Jam that way!
BFF: She listens to Triple J!
Sonofagun No.1: That's a radio station for old people.
BFF: We're going to the Foo Fighters concert next month!
Sonofagun No.1: I rest my case.
Amazona & BFF: What case?
Sonofagun No. 1 then pulls out the GrandDaddy of them all. He stands up in a 14 year old huff and declares:  

You wouldn't understand...

Picks up his empty plate and leaves the room full of pimply self-righteousness.

God I love teenage logic.


The Red Haired Amazona

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Procrastination. It's the garden's fault....

Today it's so gorgeous outside, it's like the weather is just showing off.  And it's my day off. Isn't it funny how in order to make ourselves feel like we've done something with our day, we have to fill it with Things To Do lists?

This weekend we are embarking on a journey to the Imperial City (Canberra) for a family birthday. I can hardly wait. My family rocks. We enjoy each others company, we drink The Wine, laugh out loud and alot. We say outrageously, hilarious things, drink more of The Wine and laugh a lot more.
So I was required to compile the dreaded Things To Do list and do them to get ready for the trip.

One of the best things to make you feel like you're powering through the TTD list is write down some things you've already done, then cross them off.  We all do this. It makes us feel like we've accomplished something.

I am also a chronic procrastinator. I'm doing it right now. Blog writing was not on the TTD list. And it certainly won't help get ready for going away. But I've subconsciously included it the process via my vast powers of procrastination.  It it goes like this:

1. Get out of bed.

2. Have a shower and breakfast.

3. wash clothes then get asked by sonofagun no.2 to get out the colouring in books and textas which leads to me sitting down and colouring in with him for 40 mintues then have a cup of coffee

4. vacuum car then get stuck chatting with the old lady from up the road for 20 minutes which almost progresses to a cup of tea until i remember the TTD list

5. pay yearly RACV insurance then pop a quick call through to BFF in Kiama to catch up coz it was her son's bday the other day then have another cup of coffee

6. clean kitchen then think it would look nice with some flowers so go outside to pick flowers, then spend 10 minutes finding just the right jug and arranging them in said jug

7. pack kids bags then start cleaning sonofagun no.1's room which is gross. bloody teenagers. then boil the jug to make a cup of coffee but discover my lukewarm cup of coffee from before and drink that. blech.

8. hang out washing which leads to thinking how gorgeous the garden is, so I might just take a few photos. Then I start taking a short video of the budgie trying to say 'pretty birdie' which takes 15 minutes because he's decided he can't be bothered , then sonofagun no. 2 asks for morning tea so I make some for him and me, then sit in front of the computer while I have my morning tea then think about putting some gratuitous flower photos on the interwebs so I can share their gorgeous colours with everyone.

9. pack my bag

10. load movies on the Tablet for the trip etc ...

See what I mean?

So for the procrastinating garden pics?

 This is a tribute to all the hayfever sufferes out there. Thankfully I am not one of them. Can shove my face right into any pretty flowery type thing and inhale it like a bong.

Gratuitous garden bed pic.

 My first attempt at lilies. They are the most amazing drag queens of the garden. Love.

I am totally in love with Queen Anne's Lace. It just flops all over the place like Harry Stiles' fringe.

Sweet peas are compulsory. That is all.

Right. OK. I didn't include my entire TTD list because that would be tedious. I must do everything on the list before I head off this afternoon for the much anticipated appointment with my lovely local tattoo artist to complete the finishing touches on my Granny Square tattoo. Yes, Granny Square tattoo.
Happy Hump Day!


The Red Haired Amazona